You’re not content to win the office ugly holiday sweater contest with a garment bedecked in pompoms, fringe, metallic accents or puffy paint. You like to go the extra mile. You choose a top showing deer in flagrante delicto. You didn’t take Latin in high school? OK, OK. I’ll spell it out for you. These ruminant mammals are in full coitus––another Latin term. They’re gettin’ it on. Makin’ babies––er, fawns. Doin’ the horizontal hula. Well, in their case, I guess it’s more vertically oriented so perhaps we can call it a vertical Virginia reel.
The nice thing about this choice is that from a cursory glance, your conversational partner will think your shirt is just the usual ugly sweater content entry. The longer you talk and the more astute your partner, the more likely he or she is to take a closer look at the frolicking figures adorning your torso and, perhaps, break out in a blush. You, of course, will feign innocence and say you thought the more dominant deer––the one with the full rack of antlers––was simply trying to give his more submissive partner a hand in getting up off all fours. No matter whether you’re the top or the bottom in this pair of horndogs, you’re having a good time. And you’ll have a good time sporting them during the holidays.